


Soujiro and the Soybean Stalk

by Suzume



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Gen, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-12-15
Updated: 2001-12-15
Packaged: 2017-10-14 06:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suzume/pseuds/Suzume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is not your grandfather's "Jack in the Beanstalk."  It's not your ojiisan's either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soujiro and the Soybean Stalk

Once upon a time in Kyoto, a boy named Soujiro lived with Shishio, an ambitious man who wanted to take over Japan. They owned a couple of swords and a guy named Kamatari, but very little else since they spent all their money on the Rengoku.

Soujiro was an obedient boy who loved to dream that someday Shishio's plot would be fulfilled. Then he and Shishio would have no one to oppose them. Meanwhile, there was barely a grain of rice in the house. A hard, cold spring had been followed by a dry summer which was bad for Shishio's skin.

One day, Shishio sighed wearily and said, "Kamatari is eating all our food. I'm sorry I can't let you have the pleasure of killing him, but we need the money we'll get for selling him in the village." "All right, Shishio-san," replied Soujiro. "I'll sell him and fetch a good price for him, you'll see."

Through Soujiro knew that he, if not Shishio, would sorely miss Kamatari, he also knew they couldn't afford to feed him a day longer; so he set off for the market. Over and over Shishio had warned him, since he knew Soujiro could be a bit dense, "They'll try to cheat you, Soujiro. Be sure you get a more than fair price for him! And if they try anything show them your sword!"

Before he had walked very far, Soujiro met a strange, pony-tailed man carrying a large, curved spear. He looked up as Soujiro and Kamatari drew near, then he said, "Wait, Soujiro!" A complete stranger, yet he knew Soujiro's name! "Where are you off to on this fine, bright day?" he asked.

"Why, I'm off to the market to sell Kamatari," Soujiro replied. "Oh indeed," said the eccentric looking man. "Well, I'm take him, I need a new assistant now that my Hikari is gone. See what you shall have in exchange." The man opened a large hand in which he clutched five soybeans.

"Five soybeans!" cried Soujiro, drawing his sword, "What kind of exchange do you call that?"

"Ah," said the tall man, "but these are no common soybeans. They're soybeans from America! Just plant them and they'll grow up to the sky!"

Now Soujiro had never seen American soybeans before, but how was he to know whether the soybeans were truly special?

"If the soybeans aren't all I say," continued the man, whose name was Inochi, "meet me at Mt. Hiei tomorrow at this hour and you shall have Kamatari back again- fair?"

Soujiro thought that was indeed a fair offer, so he agreed to the exchange. He handed the rope he had tied around Kamatari to Inochi, then took the soybeans and ran home.

When he told Shishio what had happened and placed the soybeans in his hand, he threw them out the window in a rage! "Special soybeans, indeed!" he cried, "I know these soybeans! They're grown in Kyushu! Even Kamatari is worth more than this! Haven't you learned anything? Now we have no money to buy rice, and no one to clean our house! Go to bed this instant!"

In his little room, Soujiro lay on his futon and began to think how foolish he had been. Oh, how he disappointed poor Shishio-san! No wonder he had grown so angry! He swallowed a sip of green tea, and soon fell into a troubled sleep.

In the morning, when he awoke, Soujiro was surprised to see strange leafy shadows on the shoji. At first he thought he must be dreaming. Then, looking toward the window, he saw that it was covered with broad green leaves growing from strong, twisting steams. He leaped from his futon, ran to the window and stared in disbelief at a gigantic stalk that stretched from the ground below to the clouds above!

"It's a soybean stalk!" he gasped. "It reaches to the sky! It must have grown from those soybeans Shishio-san tossed out the window. Then the crazy man didn't cheat me! The soybeans were magic!"

Soujiro's heart was pounding with excitement! How high did the soybean stalk reach? He had to know! He leaped upon the stalk. Seeing that it bore him easily, Soujiro started to climb. Up, up, up he went, higher and higher, till he could look down and see Shishio's hideout far below.

The top of the stalk reached above the clouds. Soujiro climbed all the way to the top and say, to his surprise, a strange house looming into the distance. He stepped off the soybean stalk onto the clouds and began walking toward the house. When he cam close, he realized that the house was much taller than any he had ever seen on earth.

"I wonder who lives here?" he thought. "The shoji are gigantic!" Soujiro had eaten no breakfast and his climb up the soybean stalk had sharpened his appetite. Discovering one of the shoji ajar, he crept into the strange house, found his way to the kitchen, and began looking for something to eat. What he found instead, was a gigantic table upon which lay a pile of bones on a platter.

Suddenly there came a terrible noise and the house began to shake. Flip-flap! Flip-flap! Flip-flap! Something huge was coming into the house! Soujiro hid in the hibachi.

Into the kitchen stomped a creature such as Soujiro had never seen- a giant! "So that's why this house is to tall!" though Soujiro. The giant looked all around the kitchen. She began sniffing the air. Then she said, in a voice that made his head ache,

"I smell soybeans!" She leaned her head out a window and sniffed the air, "I smell a boy from Kyoto!"

"How does she know I'm from Kyoto because of my smell?" thought Soujiro.

The giant sniffed her way toward the hibachi where Soujiro was hiding. The boy cringed in fear! Then she lifted a bone from the platter on the table, "Next time Falon eats chicken, he better clean up the bones!"

She went to a big iron chest against the wall and removed three bags of gold. She emptied them on the table, counted the golden coins, then put the coins back into the bags, and left the house. Soujiro listened anxiously to the sound of her receding footsteps.

Soujiro crept out of the hibachi, gently lifted a bag of gold from the table, tiptoed back outside the house, then ran at Shuku Chi speed until he came to the soybean stalk. Down he clambered! A short time later, he was back on the ground.

"Well, Shishio-san," laughed Soujiro as he emptied the back onto the tatami, "What do you think of your dumb student now?" Shishio, pleased that Soujiro had gotten some sense and brought home some money had to admit that Soujiro was not as dimwitted as he looked. The soybeans weren't such a ripoff after all, he just hated the shade they gave the city.

The next day, Inochi, sick of Kamatari's whining, came to the house and demanded that his soybeans were returned to him. Soujiro pointed at the soybean stalk and Inochi pulled the cover off his spear and began hacking at the stem. Kamatari returned to Shisho's hideout and had to do laundry and dishes since neither Soujiro or Shishio had touched them while he'd been gone.

Within the week Inochi had chopped down the soybean stalk and he dragged part of it off to sell in Tsushima.

And everyone lived happily ever after, well not exactly. The giant never found out what happened to her third bag of gold and Soujiro was never given even a word of thanks for his efforts. Shishio never conquered Japan and no one in Tsushima would buy a piece of a giant soybean stalk from Inochi. The only one who actually lived happily ever after was Kamatari who was never parted from Shishio and Soujiro again.


End file.
